Couples counseling is quite different from many other services that a consumer might seek. While an automobile repair is pretty straightforward, a counseling experience is not. A couple looking for help will encounter a variety of approaches as they contact different therapists. Or possibly a therapist who has not received specialized, couples therapy training and is flying by the seat of his or her pants. A well-intended provider is not enough. This presents a real chall

Creating Better Connections When couples come to see me they often bring specific problems to be solved. And while there are therapists who will work diligently to help couples solve their "problems," I am not one of them. For even if I were to honor this request and help them craft a solution, another would pop up soon enough. Just like a game of whack-a-mole. The reason for this is that the stated "problem" is not really the problem. Instead the problem is what happens wh

The central tenet underlying AEDP is an optimistic one: inside all of us lies an intrinsic ability to heal. An AEDP therapist will guide you to use abilities you already possess. The therapist also serves as a trusted attachment figure throughout the process of drawing those skills to the surface. You learns to heal yourself, making you more resilient and better able to tackle future adversity. Rather than attempting to hide uncomfortable or difficult emotions, your therapist

When couples come to see me they often bring specific problems to be solved. And while there are therapists who will work diligently to help couples solve their "problems," I am not one of them. For even if I were to honor this request and help them craft a solution, another would pop up soon enough. Just like a game of whack-a-mole. The reason for this is that the stated "problem" is not really the problem. Instead the problem is what happens when partners try to talk abou

A question that often arises for one or both partners in a distressed relationship is "Are we compatible?" Clearly some people do become "incompatible" over time. This is can happen when a couple gets together at a very young age or when a couple joins together in an unhealthy lifestyle and one partner later chooses to become healthy (such as kicking an addiction) while the other clings to old habits. Yet with the couples that are determined and brave enough to contact m

How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Adult Relationships When partners seek couples therapy for the first time, they are often surprised to learn that the conflicts plaguing their relationships are not always about the issue that caused the argument. Couples may argue about finances, parenting, chores, or any number of issues, but at the core of many of these problems are primal fears that often developed earlier in life than we can even remember. In my experience working

Fighting Words: What Anger Can Reveal About Your Relationship Every time you try to talk to your partner, they get defensive and a shouting match ensues. When you try to reason with them, they shut down, or worse - shut you out. Or maybe the old spark has disappeared and you just don’t feel connected the way you used to. But what if the anger and disconnection bubbling on the surface of these interactions was just a mask disguising more vulnerable emotions hiding beneath? Wha

Healing From Trauma With Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy The Ability To Heal Lies Within You If you’re looking for a therapist trained in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy near Davis, California, please call my office at 1-530-650-5190 to schedule a free phone consultation. What Is Trauma? When you hear the word ‘trauma,’ what comes to mind? Many people associate trauma with soldiers in combat. While veterans often endure horrific trauma, traumatic

7 Reasons You and Your Partner Should Try Emotionally-Focused Therapy Confused about therapy? You’re not alone. Choosing the right therapist can be a daunting task. After all, your relationship might depend on making the right choice. When you begin looking for a marriage counselor, you may be surprised by how many different types of therapy exist. Individual therapists have their own preferred styles of therapy. Just as your relationship with your therapist should be a good

When you're looking for a therapy that truly honors your capacity for healing, Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) offers something special. Rooted in the science of attachment, emotion, and transformation, AEDP doesn't just aim to relieve symptoms—it helps you tap into your innate resilience and capacity for deep change. Here’s what sets AEDP apart from other forms of therapy: A Focus on Healing from the Start Many therapies focus on diagnosing problems or